Follow up to yesterday.

[jackandahat]

Went back in to Remploy, turned out my adviser had had a word with the guy about the cane-snatching after I left. I told him if it happens again, I'm walking and there will be a serious complaint put in. Cane-snatcher apologised then spent the rest of the afternoon ignoring me and refusing to look at me while in the same room. (Yes, he is in fact a grown man and not a six year old. Allegedly.)

So that was sorted... and then my adviser promptly started lecturing me again on how he was sure I could use a phone if it was "Just a bit". Thing is, I know how "Just a bit" works - you start off with a little, then they go "he's coping fine, see?" and give you more, then they ask how why you're not doing your job. He also doesn't seem to understand that I'm not used to phones and I actually don't respond to them. You know how if someone calls someone else's name, you don't look up or respond because it doesn't apply to you? That's me - I'm just not used to phones, so I tend not to register they're ringing. It's a habit rather than a disability but it's due to my disability. It's not me "being awkward"

I don't get it. I'm hard of hearing, why are they the ones not hearing what I say? Why is it so hard to understand that no, I can't hear/understand you if I'm not looking at you? I've told the adviser a few times - get my attention, then when I'm looking at you, talk. Saying "But I called your name" when I had my back to you working on a computer isn't helpful.

And yes. These are the people whose entire job is to help with disability issues.

Comments

[synecdochic]

I'm glad that the particular incident worked out, and I'm sorry about the ongoing stupid and fail you're still having to deal with!

[jackandahat]

I'm being good. I'm not hitting anyone with my stick. Honest.

[synecdochic]

But isn't that why we have them?

(I nearly hit somebody yesterday at the grocery store.)

[jackandahat]

My niece just said "It seems unfair they let you carry a big stick then don't let you hit anyone with it. It's almost mocking." I dearly wish I could... (Why did you nearly, if you don't mind me asking?)

[synecdochic]

We were in the grocery store the day before SNOWPOCALYPSE!!!!! (the middle of the US east coast is getting hit with a massive snowstorm calling for around a meter of snow over three days, they're not good at snow removal at the best of times, and many locales used up their entire snow removal budget in the last major storm). Local joke is that the first thing Marylanders do when they hear "snow", no matter how small the amount, is to go to the store for bread, milk, eggs, and toilet paper. Even if you have them. Even if you don't need them. It was also the last day of shopping (again, due to the impending snow) before Sunday, which is the Super Bowl, a ridiculous bit of American culture that involves a bunch of people gathering around to watch a bunch of grown men chase a ball down a field, usually betting large sums of money thereupon, while consuming chips and beer and salsa. So people were shopping for that, too.

We were legitimately there to restock the pantry. But there were thousands of people, and the shelves were bare. (We literally got the last peppers available in the store. I don't know why peppers are a snow-survival food...) There were lots of other people there. One of them ran me down with her cart, looking straight at me the entire time. Another rammed into me from the aisle as I was walking past the endcap.

I did not hit any of them. I very carefully did not hit any of them. I was really tempted, though. (I did use the cane to reach over people's heads to grab things off the top shelves.)

[jackandahat]

Oh yes, I heard about snowpocalypse. We've had some here, it's over now touch wood, but it's kind of funny to see what people were buying. I stocked up on pizza, pasta, cereal, and chocolate - stuff that would last and keep me warm, plus some treats. Guys in line behind me were stocking up on beer and bacon.

And gah, yeah - I've had people push carts into me. I'm a bastard though, if I'm on an OK day I push back. I consider it my public duty as someone who is able to do that, in case the next person they try to run over is (physically) weaker. It's amazing how surprised they look. It's so bloody rude though. We really should be allowed to hit them.

[synecdochic]

Survival of the fittest!

[freyakitten]

I tend not to push back. I tend to fall over (in a controlled way so that I don't actually get hurt). It's amazing how people get the point when you show them consequences to their actions... The bus drivers who drop me off near work in the mornings have mostly got the point that accelerating the 30m or so from the traffic lights to the bus stop and then stopping with a jerk is a jerky thing to do.

[trialia]

Ugh. Not to butt in, but that just reminds me of a woman I encountered while Christmas shopping in the supermarket a couple of years ago who actually used my shoulder to push herself up to reach the top shelf - the shoulder which, at that time, was dislocating on a weekly basis. I didn't know her at all, and it wouldn't have been okay for her to do that even if I did! *snarls at stupid people*

[synecdochic]

Yeowch. I'm not sure I could've kept myself from punching her.

[demophon]

I hear you about the Maryland shoppers thing--especially because I'm a born and bred Michigander. My wife, our friend, and I went to the Costco up in White Marsh, then the Safeway in Canton yesterday for actual shopping. Big mistake.

Do we really have to be nice to people when they're being inconsiderate a-holes and doing things like stopping in the middle of aisles in front of the man in a wheelchair? Or zig-zagging past us and stopping to grab something (when we're clearly moving) like we're not even there?

Can't we hit them? Just once? Please?

[willow]

Huh.

Are they offering you - damnit I forget the name - oh I didn't! - Teletex in order for you to do the phone thing 'just a little bit'?

Is that the assistive technology they keep suggesting could help you?

Uhm

[willow]

I should totally read Wikipedia more carefully even when hunting down a quick link. I meant this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telecommunications_device_for_the_deaf

Re: Uhm

[jackandahat]

No, they're basically offering a Really Loud Phone. (I'm sure there's a technical term, but.) Which is no use - if you turn it up loud enough I can hear, things start distorting - oh, and it would eventually destroy what hearing I have left!

I also got asked in the interview today "Can't you just wear hearing aids?" Frankly, I'm getting a bit insulted - I'm an adult, I clearly have access to things like doctors and the internet... do they not think I've thought of this stuff already?

Re: Uhm

[willow]

No. Because to have a disability is to be instantly infantalized.

It's weird though, it would seem to me that the easiest/simplest job opportunity for you would be data entry; using your computer skills to input information or correlate data etc. It's not your fault that they likely shipped all those kinds of jobs to other nations.

Re: Uhm

[jackandahat]

Exactly! I'm good at that kind of thing - I have a pretty decent typing speed and I don't get bored with that kind of work. But. The nearest suggestion was dictation. As in, listening to someone/a recording of someone talking, and typing it up. Yeah. I just looked at him until he figured why that one was stupid.

I have started asking people "Why do you think I haven't tried that already?" So far, no-one's come up with a good answer. But I'm tired of the "You should be nice, people are only trying to help."

Re: Uhm

[synecdochic]

They're only trying to help! It's not their fault they immediately think they're smarter and more educated than the person who's living your life!

(I will confess to asking the "have you tried --" question myself. But only when what I'm going to suggest is truly new/not widely known, is something I've used/experienced/had myself, and I usually phrase it as "you probably already know about this, but --")

Re: Uhm

[freyakitten]

And the thing is, even with hearing aids, a Really Loud Phone doesn't help for long-term stuff. Hearing Aids make EVERYTHING louder. So if you turn the volume up in order to hear the phone, you can hear the static on the line as well... Unless you happen to have one of the issues where hearing aids do help, and you have one of the sets that can receive transmitted information (forgotten the thingy-word for it, sorry) AND they have provided you with a phone that can send that information. This comes to mind because there are a couple of venues locally where they advertise that if you are hiring the hall and you want to use this technology, you just let them know so they can have techies to make it work. And it bothers me that so few events DO use this technology - I dance, and I have yet to attend an event (comps, dance parties, workshops, etc) where the technology was used, even in halls where the capacity is there!

Re: Uhm

[pne]

Oh! That thingy. I think I know what you mean.

*looks*

Perhaps one or more of these words fit: telecoil, T-coil, (audio) induction loop, induction coil?

Or were you referring to an FM transmitter, possibly in connection with an Assistive Listening Device? I had never heard of those (in connection with hearing ears) before.

Re: Uhm

[jackandahat]

I've seen signs about them in the bank. I think they seem like a great idea.

What bugs me is people (as in, random people with no experience of hearing loss or hearing aids) keep pushing hearing aids on me. I'm not big on the social model of disability, but my hearing is one case where 95% of the problem is other people. I'm muddling along just fine, thank you! Sure, no-one can whisper sweet nothings in my ear, and I can't phone a friend to chat, but I don't have a girlfriend and the internet is cheaper than long-distance calls anyway, so I don't see an issue!

[codeman38]

Gahhh, the phone thing...

I've had my own annoyances in that regard. Quite often, people refuse to believe I have difficulty hearing on the phone because I can fairly decently make out what people whose speech patterns I know well are saying. (But of course-- I'm used to their speech patterns, so I can fill in the missing bits!) And so they don't seem to understand why I can't deal with calls to random strangers, receptionists, etc.

Grr.

[jackandahat]

*nods* For me, a big bit is lipreading, though of course it helps if I'm familiar with them. But it's amazing how people can just Not Understand that just because you have coping mechanisms that let you do X, doesn't mean you can do Y.

[codeman38]

Yeah, lipreading helps me immensely in person as well. So I also have the issue of people wondering why I can't deal with phone calls when I can carry on a face-to-face conversation perfectly fine. ::grumble::

[ladygzb.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear the idiot who took your cane got called on it, even if he was immature about it. I still think it's a bigger deal than you seem to :) but if you're ready to let it go, hey.

I hope these guys get their act together and can actually help you, eventually.

[jackandahat]

It's one of those "If I got indignant every time something like this happend, I'd run out of energy for the worse stuff" situations, that's why I'm letting it go. I only have so much energy, so I have to prioritises. He's not an actual physical danger, so, he goes further down the list than things that are.

I have my doubts about them being any use, but. I'm job hunting plenty alone and when I get a job I'll be done with them.