accessibility_fail | Follow up to yesterday.

Went back in to Remploy, turned out my adviser had had a word with the guy about the cane-snatching after I left. I told him if it happens again, I'm walking and there will be a serious complaint put in. Cane-snatcher apologised then spent the rest of the afternoon ignoring me and refusing to look at me while in the same room. (Yes, he is in fact a grown man and not a six year old. Allegedly.)

So that was sorted... and then my adviser promptly started lecturing me again on how he was sure I could use a phone if it was "Just a bit". Thing is, I know how "Just a bit" works - you start off with a little, then they go "he's coping fine, see?" and give you more, then they ask how why you're not doing your job. He also doesn't seem to understand that I'm not used to phones and I actually don't respond to them. You know how if someone calls someone else's name, you don't look up or respond because it doesn't apply to you? That's me - I'm just not used to phones, so I tend not to register they're ringing. It's a habit rather than a disability but it's due to my disability. It's not me "being awkward"

I don't get it. I'm hard of hearing, why are they the ones not hearing what I say? Why is it so hard to understand that no, I can't hear/understand you if I'm not looking at you? I've told the adviser a few times - get my attention, then when I'm looking at you, talk. Saying "But I called your name" when I had my back to you working on a computer isn't helpful.

And yes. These are the people whose entire job is to help with disability issues.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, God. If I have one more person telling me I'm being negative because I have carefully considered reasons why their miracle cure won't work for me ....

The worst is when it's the doctors.

Oh yes. And it pisses me off because "You're negative" is one of those shutting-down things, it puts it all on you and allows them to be huffy. You literally can't argue it because they don't hear anything you say after that.

And they always make it all about them. I've had situations where people make a suggestion, and I say "Won't work because [extra bit of information]" and they go "Well I didn't know that!" No, because... you didn't need to. My medical history is my property, I don't see why I should spell out everything from the state of my joints to the damaged big toe from childhood football to the inability to eat certain things. (That's another one - I have food problems. EVERYONE comes out with "Is it celiacs?" Let me see, I've been getting poked at because of it for about 17 years now, and somehow 17 years worth of doctors and dieticians have managed to miss one of the most common food issues in the history of food issues...Yeah. Right.)

Oh, gods yes. This is what my current (and soon to be former, thank goodness!) landlady is all about. She thinks because her husband has MS and is quadriplegic, that she knows everything about my health problems and if I happen to reject a fibromyalgia site she links to me that hasn't been updated in five years (and was pretty blatantly a con anyway), that I'm not trying.

I've seen some fantastic essays on how people don't realise just how much they're demanding when they ask you to try new stuff (Time off whatever meds you might be on now, time ramping up for it to work, time dealing with the side effects - they can be asking six months of your life and serious damage to your health, and they don't get that.) But people just... can't seem to understand.

Yeah, though I think this is one case where she simply didn't care to understand-- she has bitched me into tears for not helping her lift boxes before now, even though she knows full well that my shoulders try to dislocate and it causes me a lot of pain. Same with using the dishwasher in the shared house- "my knees and back hurt all the time, and I have no problem using the dishwasher, why should you?" when I have fibro and EDS-h and all that lifting and bending to fill the dishwasher with my stuff and everyone else's would put me out for the rest of the day. *snarls at her* I can manage with my own stuff, but why should I have to clean up after other people when it only makes things worse for me? She's crazy.

Oh god yes - I hate the "Well I can do this, why can't you?" I've started turning it around - "Well I can knit, why can't you? You're just not trying hard enough. I'm not scared of heights, why are you being such a wuss?" Funnily enough, they don't like that.

Ooh, I like that.

I don't actually believe it, obviously, but it seems to be much easier to turn it around on someone and make them understand that way than to explain.

Though it's amazing how many sputter "But that's different!!!"

Follow up to yesterday.

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