accessibility_fail | Follow up to yesterday.

Follow up to yesterday.

Went back in to Remploy, turned out my adviser had had a word with the guy about the cane-snatching after I left. I told him if it happens again, I'm walking and there will be a serious complaint put in. Cane-snatcher apologised then spent the rest of the afternoon ignoring me and refusing to look at me while in the same room. (Yes, he is in fact a grown man and not a six year old. Allegedly.)

So that was sorted... and then my adviser promptly started lecturing me again on how he was sure I could use a phone if it was "Just a bit". Thing is, I know how "Just a bit" works - you start off with a little, then they go "he's coping fine, see?" and give you more, then they ask how why you're not doing your job. He also doesn't seem to understand that I'm not used to phones and I actually don't respond to them. You know how if someone calls someone else's name, you don't look up or respond because it doesn't apply to you? That's me - I'm just not used to phones, so I tend not to register they're ringing. It's a habit rather than a disability but it's due to my disability. It's not me "being awkward"

I don't get it. I'm hard of hearing, why are they the ones not hearing what I say? Why is it so hard to understand that no, I can't hear/understand you if I'm not looking at you? I've told the adviser a few times - get my attention, then when I'm looking at you, talk. Saying "But I called your name" when I had my back to you working on a computer isn't helpful.

And yes. These are the people whose entire job is to help with disability issues.

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I'm glad that the particular incident worked out, and I'm sorry about the ongoing stupid and fail you're still having to deal with!

Huh.

Are they offering you - damnit I forget the name - oh I didn't! - Teletex in order for you to do the phone thing 'just a little bit'?

Is that the assistive technology they keep suggesting could help you?

I should totally read Wikipedia more carefully even when hunting down a quick link. I meant this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telecommunications_device_for_the_deaf

No, they're basically offering a Really Loud Phone. (I'm sure there's a technical term, but.) Which is no use - if you turn it up loud enough I can hear, things start distorting - oh, and it would eventually destroy what hearing I have left!

I also got asked in the interview today "Can't you just wear hearing aids?" Frankly, I'm getting a bit insulted - I'm an adult, I clearly have access to things like doctors and the internet... do they not think I've thought of this stuff already?

I'm being good. I'm not hitting anyone with my stick. Honest.

No. Because to have a disability is to be instantly infantalized.

It's weird though, it would seem to me that the easiest/simplest job opportunity for you would be data entry; using your computer skills to input information or correlate data etc. It's not your fault that they likely shipped all those kinds of jobs to other nations.

Exactly! I'm good at that kind of thing - I have a pretty decent typing speed and I don't get bored with that kind of work. But. The nearest suggestion was dictation. As in, listening to someone/a recording of someone talking, and typing it up. Yeah. I just looked at him until he figured why that one was stupid.

I have started asking people "Why do you think I haven't tried that already?" So far, no-one's come up with a good answer. But I'm tired of the "You should be nice, people are only trying to help."

But isn't that why we have them?

(I nearly hit somebody yesterday at the grocery store.)

They're only trying to help! It's not their fault they immediately think they're smarter and more educated than the person who's living your life!

(I will confess to asking the "have you tried --" question myself. But only when what I'm going to suggest is truly new/not widely known, is something I've used/experienced/had myself, and I usually phrase it as "you probably already know about this, but --")

My niece just said "It seems unfair they let you carry a big stick then don't let you hit anyone with it. It's almost mocking." I dearly wish I could... (Why did you nearly, if you don't mind me asking?)

Yeah - there's a difference between the whole "You might already know this/have you tried" - where the have you tried is a genuine question, and going "You should try..."

Because it's been my experience that people suggest something, and I go "doesn't work" - because they don't know the full situation, because they don't need to. So then, because I've pointed out their idea doesn't work... they say I'm being negative.

Well in the technical, linguistic sense, yes I am. But saying "That doesn't work with my situation" is, to me, no more negative than saying "I don't have a million pounds." Because I don't. And wishing I did is not going to make it true - neither is saying that I do. But they say I have a negative attitude because I don't fall at their feet worshipping their wonderful idea. (The one I already tried because I read up on it when I was eleven...)

We were in the grocery store the day before SNOWPOCALYPSE!!!!! (the middle of the US east coast is getting hit with a massive snowstorm calling for around a meter of snow over three days, they're not good at snow removal at the best of times, and many locales used up their entire snow removal budget in the last major storm). Local joke is that the first thing Marylanders do when they hear "snow", no matter how small the amount, is to go to the store for bread, milk, eggs, and toilet paper. Even if you have them. Even if you don't need them. It was also the last day of shopping (again, due to the impending snow) before Sunday, which is the Super Bowl, a ridiculous bit of American culture that involves a bunch of people gathering around to watch a bunch of grown men chase a ball down a field, usually betting large sums of money thereupon, while consuming chips and beer and salsa. So people were shopping for that, too.

We were legitimately there to restock the pantry. But there were thousands of people, and the shelves were bare. (We literally got the last peppers available in the store. I don't know why peppers are a snow-survival food...) There were lots of other people there. One of them ran me down with her cart, looking straight at me the entire time. Another rammed into me from the aisle as I was walking past the endcap.

I did not hit any of them. I very carefully did not hit any of them. I was really tempted, though. (I did use the cane to reach over people's heads to grab things off the top shelves.)

Oh, God. If I have one more person telling me I'm being negative because I have carefully considered reasons why their miracle cure won't work for me ....

The worst is when it's the doctors.

Oh yes, I heard about snowpocalypse. We've had some here, it's over now touch wood, but it's kind of funny to see what people were buying. I stocked up on pizza, pasta, cereal, and chocolate - stuff that would last and keep me warm, plus some treats. Guys in line behind me were stocking up on beer and bacon.

And gah, yeah - I've had people push carts into me. I'm a bastard though, if I'm on an OK day I push back. I consider it my public duty as someone who is able to do that, in case the next person they try to run over is (physically) weaker. It's amazing how surprised they look. It's so bloody rude though. We really should be allowed to hit them.

Oh yes. And it pisses me off because "You're negative" is one of those shutting-down things, it puts it all on you and allows them to be huffy. You literally can't argue it because they don't hear anything you say after that.

And they always make it all about them. I've had situations where people make a suggestion, and I say "Won't work because [extra bit of information]" and they go "Well I didn't know that!" No, because... you didn't need to. My medical history is my property, I don't see why I should spell out everything from the state of my joints to the damaged big toe from childhood football to the inability to eat certain things. (That's another one - I have food problems. EVERYONE comes out with "Is it celiacs?" Let me see, I've been getting poked at because of it for about 17 years now, and somehow 17 years worth of doctors and dieticians have managed to miss one of the most common food issues in the history of food issues...Yeah. Right.)

Survival of the fittest!

It's not the size of your stick, it's how you swing it. ;)

(Aaaaand I just had a lightbulb moment. I'm pretty sure you're the author of the fic I keep pointing people to to go "See? See? Disabled character, done well!". I never commented because I ran out of spoons way before the end and it's not even my fandom so I feel like I missed bits, but. JD and cane-using Cam? Or do I have you confused with another human bean?)

That is indeed me! (It's got an alternate universe of the alternate universe where Cam is-and-always-has-been a girl, but JD is still queer, too.) That story is pretty much "hi, my issues, let me show you them". :)

Huh - I *thought* I saw one with girl!Cam, but then I never saw it again so I figured I'd just lost my mind while browsing Delicious. OK, very cool - I have to admit, I wondered if the author was a cane-user because I'm cynical and I didn't see someone without experience writing it that well, but. It's fucking fantastic, btw. I need to get back into it, I got a bit muddled around when JD had to go (Is that vague enough to avoid spoiling folk?) because I know nothing about the universe and my brain was made of soggy cotton. But yes. Amazing story.

Ah, yes, that started book two, A Howling In The Factory Yard, in which I drop an action-adventure spy thriller in the middle of my cozy domestic romance. *G*

The girl!Cam story is here: http://kekkai.org/synecdochic/sg1/mezzanine/index.html

I like to say that Broken Wings is a story about disability, while Mezzanine is a story about queerness. Even though they're the same setup. It's all about the concentration, yanno?

(And thank you. I tried like hell to write it with "this is how Cam would deal with this" rather than "these are my issues, let me show you them". *G*)

However it was written, it was brilliant - and it was the kind of thing I've been dying to see, something where Life Happens to someone who is disabled, not Disability Happens to someone, if you see what I mean? And all the little things - I'm not as badly off as him, but it's nice to recognise the little things in a story like having to think twice about going out on ice/snow, and dealing with the kitchen, and people looking, and stuff like that.

Anyway. Ahem. I shall stop fanboying now. *sits on hands*

Oh please, do you think I object to people fanboying me? *G*

And yeah, that's exactly what I wanted to do: portray that Cam is living with this disability, and it sucks, but hey, whatcha gonna do, except send your hot young partner out to the supermarket for you (my own hot young partner comes in girl-flavor rather than boy-flavor, but still) and grit your teeth and take the damn pain meds. It's like he said in one piece: his injuries don't cripple him. All they do is make it harder to walk. Or something like that.

I hate stories with PWD protags that are Disability Happens stories. It's like how every queer character in the movies is either the comic relief, the villain, or the dead guy at the end.

*Grins* Well that's OK then!

Clearly, I need me a hot boy/girl/one of each to do my shopping. *Nods* It's A Plan. Think I could get one down the supermarket?

(If you don't mind me asking - because I'm clueless and haven't picked up - are you male, female, other option, etc? I'm just wondering how to refer to you.)

And yeah - the "Disability happens" is OK for one chapter, after that it just gets ridiculous - because that's how life is. You can't wallow, or you don't get to have a life. So it's nice to see a queer disabled guy having himself a life - with stuff like work and sex and family being family, and troubles with all of the above, and realistic (Um. Well. If you discount the alients...)

Heh. I was going to apologise for going off-topic. Wait. I'm the OP!

Gahhh, the phone thing...

I've had my own annoyances in that regard. Quite often, people refuse to believe I have difficulty hearing on the phone because I can fairly decently make out what people whose speech patterns I know well are saying. (But of course-- I'm used to their speech patterns, so I can fill in the missing bits!) And so they don't seem to understand why I can't deal with calls to random strangers, receptionists, etc.

Grr.

*nods* For me, a big bit is lipreading, though of course it helps if I'm familiar with them. But it's amazing how people can just Not Understand that just because you have coping mechanisms that let you do X, doesn't mean you can do Y.

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Follow up to yesterday.

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