The telephone thing

[kaz]

To put it mildly, I have issues when it comes to telephones.

In the extreme case, I can have a conversation over the telephone without really being able to understand the other person, while saying things I don't mean, but that bit doesn't really matter because I don't know what it is I'm saying and the other person isn't able to understand me anyway. Subsets of this set of circumstances crop up very regularly. As is probably understandable, telephone conversations with people I do not know very well a) take up a large chunk of my spoons and b) are singularly unpleasant experiences that I will go to great lengths to avoid.

So why is it that there are so many things you can only ever do by phone?

The current fail is me trying to get a code from my mobile phone provider so I can switch providers and still keep my number. I send an e-mail. "Sorry, call this number!" I go to their store. "Sorry, you can only do this by phone!" Why is it that when I am standing right there I have to do it by phone? Why is it that among the multitude of alternate communication channels we have at our disposal it has to be this specific one? Is it so utterly impossible for you to imagine there are people who might have problems with it?

The really frustrating thing is, of course, that I *can* use a fistful of spoons to grit my teeth and lift the handset and call the company anyway, with at least a reasonable chance of being able to communicate. There are people who can't. These people might, actually, have mobile phones as you can do far more with them than simply calling people. Or maybe they'd like to do things like changing the address for their credit card (another one of those "sorry, phone only!" things for my bank, which has resulted in my credit card having been unusable for the last year). Methinks Deaf or HoH people, among others, would like to be able to use credit cards too?

Comments

[jackandahat]

*points* This. People are obsessed with the bloody telephone. It's a phone. Some people can talk on it. That's it - it's not like it sings, dances, and makes toast! It's good, but it's not that good, and I really wish people would get a little less dependant on it - especially now we have so much we can do online too - nevermind the fact they're trying to "make it more convenient" (*coughs*Save money) by removing real people from banks and customer services and shunt everything to phones.

I had to argue with a doctor's receptionist the other week about why making an appointment by telephone wasn't possible. They release appointments for each day at 8:30. The following happened:

Her: So just give us a ring at 8:30 and you can book in tomorrow.
Me: Can I come in instead?
Her: Give us a call, this is the number...
Me: I'm hard of hearing, I don't tend to use phones. Can I come in here at 8:30?
Her: If you phone up, you can get an appointment for tomorrow, we don't know until then what the appointments are.
Me: But I can't use a phone. Can I come in to the surgery?
Her: Oh. Well. Just give us a ring...

I just walked off and came in at 8:30 the next day, and thankfully it was a different woman. But really, she could not seem to listen to what I was saying, which was ironic. I'm in a similar position to you - in an emergency, I could use a phone, but given I live literally around the corner, it takes fewer spoons to nip over the road than to try and understand someone on the phone (Who half the time won't listen to "I'm hard of hearing, could you repeat that?")

[fairestcat]

Not a solution to the stupid "must be done over the phone" problem, but have you looked into using a TTY or text to speech telephone service? TTY services let users with hearing or speech impediments use the phone via a keyboard and a relay operator, but I see no reason why they couldn't also be used by someone with other difficulties with communicating on the phone.

I see from your userinfo that you're in Germany, and sadly I don't know what kind of system they have there and my English-language googling is getting me confirmation that there's some kind of system but not any specifics, probably because I don't know the proper German terms/abbreviations to search for.

[codeman38]

GAH. YES. I have a hard time hearing over the phone, too, and it's so frustrating when people won't even bother to attempt to make accommodations or use alternative means of communication.

Sometimes-- sometimes-- I can understand that there might be security reasons for not being able to do something like e-mail, when it comes to confidential personal information. But in the majority of cases, that's really no excuse, and at the very least they should be able to take care of it in person.

What's really annoying, incidentally, is when people provide a TTY number or e-mail address, and then don't bother to actually check those or, worse, don't even know how to answer them. >_<

[codeman38]

Oh, incidentally, one that particularly gets me in the "wow, they really didn't think this one through" department... my university's psych counseling office requires a telephone intake before arranging any sort of in-person appointment. Yeah, because that's really something I want to be doing over relay, even if the operators are sworn to confidentiality... -_-;;

(Thankfully, they do allow for in-person intake sessions given extenuating circumstances like, y'know, not being able to hear on the phone. Which is good.)

[firecat]

My partner is hearing impaired and needs a fistful of spoons to use the telephone. I dislike the telephone. We are more likely to patronize a business that makes itself available by e-mail.

[willow]

I am not hearing impaired. But using the phone takes up a whole set of spoons. Phones feel invasive to me. And then I tend to need to write out my thoughts before hand and have a list in front of me of the points I want to bring up - because people on the phone just go too fast.

My real problem these days is that even by phone you can't get a real person. It's all automated systems. I loathe automated systems because I can't ask questions and make sure I've understood things properly. Make a mistake in an automated system and a lot of the times you have to start over from the top - which means more time on the phone. Just holding the receiver for me can be incredibly draining. My mind knows phone = energy and anxiety.

I've had a phonecall to make for a couple of weeks now (almost 2 months) and I haven't done it, because there are other things I needed my spoons for.

[yarram]

Normally, I'm fine with phones, even with my hearing impairment. I get paid to talk to people on the phone all day, for that matter.

When I'm really, really sick? Forget it. I have a TTY for the sole express purpose of using it to make same-day doctor appointments when I'm feeling too sick to even bother putting on my hearing aids. I have to ration my spoons for being able to actually communicate with the doctor to (a) explain my symptoms, and (b) understand the care instructions I'm given.

[delight]

Admittedly I am, like, seven days late on commenting on this -- I just wanted to give my sympathies. I totally understand where you're coming from from a totally different angle; I am deathly phobic of telephones. Ask me to talk on one, I most often will have a violent, body-shaking, tachycardia-inducing, shortness-of-breath causing, sob-filled panic attack. I don't. Do. Phones. Being forced to do things like make doctor's appointments on phones? Ridiculous. I show up in person, the office is down the street, they tell me to call. Yesterday the accupuncturist asked to talk to me directly, when my boyfriend had called to make the appointment for me -- at least he was willing to understand "she's happy to talk to you in person but she has a severe phobia".

I have a cell phone; I have unlimited texting and my phone also gets email. I tell people to email me or text me if they need to get ahold of me, and if they absolutely need to call they need to call my boyfriend. If my cell phone rings, I pass it to someone else and ask them to take a message, unless it's my parents or I've planned a phone conversation in advance (that, and only that, is okay). Text is good. Talking in person is good. Phone is bad.

I can understand better people giving me shit, because severe anxiety disorders are things that lots of the world don't believe in, but the idea that hearing impaired people have to go through the phone-related shit I do and are not accomodated makes my blood boil. Seriously. WTF.


Edited for reading more closely (I should not try to read, let alone backread and comment, when tired): I am also autistic, and not sure if these things are related, but my problems are never with actual hearing -- I am less surprised, but just as disappointed, with people giving those on the spectrum crap. I'm 100% used to it. But it's still extreme levels of crap.

[fyborg23]

Thank you, thank you.

I have to grit my teeth every time I use the cheap-ass phone at work, or whenever I have to call up the bank or the registrar to resolve any issues. I can use my cell, since I get better clarity with my cochlear implant, but it is *frustrating* to follow the conversation in minute detail.

It would be so much simpler to use a secured website for these things.