When the people who claim to help are the problem.

[jackandahat]

Right now I'm looking for work, and I've just been sent to an agency - Remploy - who deal with getting disabled people into work. I'm hard of hearing and I have arthritis so I walk with a cane.

I was sat with "my" advisor, Jonathan, getting lectured on how I would be wonderful in this job and I had to think positive thoughts. He yet again pulled the "All you need is adaptive technology" speech - I've discussed with them several times that adapted phones just don't work for me - I've never met one that does, and frankly, it's too much of a bloody struggle.. I was sat down, my cane was propped against my backpack.

The other advisor - I don't know his name, call him Stupid Fuck - picked up my cane and put it behind his back, and started giving a speech about how now no-one would know I was disabled, and I had to think of it like that.

The only thing that kept me from getting up and punching him was knowing I'd lose my benefits if I did. Oh yeah, and the fact he had my cane.

Did I mention this is an agency designed specifically to deal with getting disabled people into work?

So there was absolutely nothing I could do. If I did anything, they'd have stopped my dole money and I wouldn't have been able to afford to, you know, pay rent and eat. I told Jonathan that being told "You don't look disabled" is not helpful, but I was too much in shock to work out what to say about the cane thing - when I go in tomorrow I Will be having words with Stupid Fuck, I just didn't know what to do and he was standing over me.

Anyone else faced this kind of thing? Any ideas what to do/say to him? (I know the obvious is "Put in a complaint", but if that's how the staff act, I suspect they'd laugh in my face.)

Comments

[ladygzb.livejournal.com]

Consider it this way:

What would you do if you went to a restaurant, and they took away your cane? What would you do if you went to a grocery store, and they took away your cane?

You wouldn't just complain to the management--AND the corporate management--but in the US you'd also complain to the BBB, the ADA, maybe the police, and possibly consult a lawyer. It doesn't sound like you're in the US, so I don't know what the analogous associations are in your area.

Just because they were supposed to be helping you doesn't absolve them of the same need for basic human decency and--you know--not to STEAL YOUR FREAKING CANE. This sounds like abuse of a disabled person, and possibly kidnapping (ie, holding someone against their will). If they think this is acceptable behavior in any way, they need a serious wake-up call.

[jadelennox]

I WANT TO KICK HIM IN THE SHINS.

[maevele]

I can't help but feel like that is as big of a personal violation as physical contact with your body would have been. I tell my kids to treat someone's mobility devices the same way they do someone's body parts, so to me it reads like assault as much as grabbing your person would have been. I'm coming at this as an outsider though, as my disabilities are not physical.

So, Stupid Fuck deserves an assbeat, and lacking that, I guess a strong letter to his supervisors? Because it needs to be clear to people working with disabled people that there are some fucking boundaries.

[jadey]

I don't know if they would respond to this argument, but this guy didn't just take away your cane - he took away your autonomy, your ability to choose to sit or stand. He might have given the cane back if you'd asked, but that essentially means that you would have had to ask permission to stand up, which is all kinds of fucked up. :( I would really hope that this agency would understand that assistive devices, whether they be wheelchairs, service dogs, canes, etc., are part of a person's body and personal space, and, just like our bodies, are supposed to be out-of-bounds without consent, especially in relationships with as unequal a power dynamic as an essential service provider and a client who is in a marginalized position. Then again, hope is not the same thing as reality. :( I think the reason that my place of employment had to emphasize things like, "Don't pet service dogs or push wheelchairs around without asking!!", was because so many clued-out people do crap like that.

[jesse_the_k]

+10 to what the others have said.

I can totally understand the initial I can't complain cause they control my dole! reaction, which is why all of us are so damn pissed. It's because they have so much power over you that this abuse is so wrong!

In the U.S. I would definitely recommend a written complaint over something in person. The written complaint creates a "paper trail," evidence of what happened and how you responded. This discussion can also serve as a record. In the unlucky case that you have to deal with this shitheel again, it would be great to make notes of every interaction.

One other thought is it's always easier to face this kind of discrimination in a group. Is there a DAN chapter or arthritis society or mates from the pub or whatever who you could connect with, see if they'd be willing to stand together with you to make a fuss if complaining to the supervisor doesn't help?

[yarram]

My general take is measured steps:

1. Talk to Stupid Fuck. (Politely and civilly, if you can.) If that fails,
2. Talk to SF's Boss. (Again, politely and civilly, if you can.) If that fails,
3. Write a letter to the head of the agency. If that fails,
4. Skip everybody else and write/contact your local MP. CC your local newspaper, the agency's board (if there is one), and any other agency that might even remotely have supervisory authority or financial clout, including major donors/supporters if you know who they are. Include in the letter, in very clear language, that the agency you depend upon for survival is abusing their authority through intimidation and by endangering your source of financial support. (They took away your mobility! and got upset when you pointed it out to them! they're Big Meanies! Playing "Abuse The Cripple" is really, really bad PR.)

My sense from what I've read is that probably steps 1 and 2 are as far as you might have to take it. But be aware that steps 3 and 4 are options, if you feel safe exercising them. Threatening to withhold finances is a tactic straight out of domestic abusers' playbooks, pure and simple. It doesn't negate the fact that it's a valid and real consideration, but it is abuse, nevertheless.

[anjak_j]

I'd have asked for my cane and left. Then I'd have phoned the DWP as soon as possible telling them why. No-one has the right to take away your walking aid, to belittle your disability or to tell you to pretend that you aren't. All of that smacks of ableist privilege. The whole point of Remploy - who from my own experience are useless - is to help disabled people find employment. How are they supposed to make employers respect your skills when they treat you like that?